Monday, October 1, 2012

Needing Time to Slow Down While Wishing it Away...

Okay, fine. The title of this post is a lie.

I never really wish it away.

In fact, I'd probably make a deal with the devil to have it go backwards for a while.

But, the more I swim and need water, the more I need December - April to just go away.

Is that so much to ask for, to have longer days packed into a seven-month year?

But I'm teetering on 50 here (holy fuck), and I need time to stop, slow down. I need time NOT to fly, or months to disappear.

I need to wish 2014 to stay looming in the FAR distance, even though I won't see my next YA in publication until then.

Competing interests, wouldn't you say?

Indeed, I feel like one of those push-me-pull-you's
from Dr. Doolittle,
wanting time to fly almost as badly as
I want it to stand still.

And yet, I know better.

As I sit here and type, my eyes keep darting up to this sweet little
art project my youngest brought home to me what
feels like five minutes ago. . .

Five minutes ago, I put it up on that shelf for safe-keeping (and viewing) until I could find a better spot for it.

It must've been November, for All Saints Day or Day of the Dead, in elementary school, at least five years ago.

Five years in five minutes, I tell you.

Five lousy minutes ago.

Yeah, I'd make that deal with the devil in a heart beat.


I need somehow to embrace the cold, dark chill in the morning and feel productive, rather than melancholy and dull.


  1. They say as we age, our perception of time actually does speed up. I certainly feel that as well. One theory behind it is that the older we get, the fewer new memories we create for ourselves. By the time we reach a certain age, we're usually pretty well settled into our lives (as opposed to the constant flux that is our twenties). By the time most of reach 35 or 40, our relationships/marriages aren't new, our jobs aren't new, our houses aren't new. Our kids seem to be growing faster every year because we've been raising them every day for years (as opposed to how time seemed to draw out so slowly when they were babies, and we were new to the experience of raising them). Our brains simply collapse those routine events into tighter, neater piles.

    They say the trick to slowing time down for our brains is to create brand new experiences for ourselves. Perhaps in the winter, you can join the polar bear club. ;)

  2. Light a fire. Works EVERY time for me.

  3. this is NOT shameless self-promotion. really, it's not. okay. at least I don't want it to be, even if it seems like it is. but I immediately thought of this post that I wrote about a very similar feeling. I hope you find something in it to relate to/be relieved by. I ALWAYS find something in what you write, and you ALWAYS soothe me with your sensitivity, honesty and humor. xo;postID=4280738311753968761

  4. um. yeah, that worked. NOT. okay, maybe it's the universe's way of telling me that it really isn't about me???????? let me know if you actually want to read the text to that. ;) your choice.

  5. Allison, I swam ALL winter last winter OUTDOORS. The Polar Bear club has nothing on me. Maybe I need to take up skydiving. ;)

    Jody, how lucky you are that soothed by a lovely fire.

    Lori, will look soon. <3