Summer Redux: Please?

With the West Neck Pod this past Saturday,
honoring the children who died in the harbor
on July 4th, 2012. More soon on this from the Water-blog.

I'm trying to milk the best out of August -- or the best out of me IN August.

It's not easy. My life seems to lack a certain flow.

Plus, much as I scramble, there's no way I can cram accomplishing everything I wanted to all summer, into the remaining 24 days of one month.





My bad.

I want June back.

I want July.



My handsome hubby signing at a little get together at our house
for my birthday this July.

I WANT A SUMMER REDO!

I feel panicked as, around me, friends in warmer states (actual states, I mean, like Arizona and  Florida) tweet and facebook about returning to their classrooms, about their kids going back to school.

BACK TO SCHOOL. ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!?!

*covers ears*

*covers eyes*

*searches frantically for healthy denial*

I need summer.

I need warmth and open water,

This was me in June.
Don't I look accomplished and hopeful?!

and daylight hours that extend until 9pm.

I. Need. Time.

I know, I know. I'm starting to sound like a broken record. But I'm trying. I'm really trying.

I'm doing my best to keep my time on social networking limited.

Facebook, you know I LOVE YOU, but you won't get these manuscripts revised.







In other repeated news: I'm doing THIS SWIM on August 11th, to raise money for cancer research. For those who don't already know, I'm swimming in honor of a little boy named Lane Goodwin who's been battling a rare and ugly form of cancer for a few years. He's my hero. If you can donate a buck or two to my swim, I'd be grateful. EVERY DOLLAR RAISED goes DIRECTLY to the cause.*

My "Frankie" revisions are turned in to my agent. They go to my editor on September 1.

And, on August 25th, an attempt at a five-mile swim.

I already know, none of it will be enough. I already know, there will be loss and regret and longing.

If only I could get a redux.

If only I could figure out how to embrace the fall.

-gae

*according to information from the Swim, due to adequate corporate sponsorship, all admin costs are covered and all donations go 100%  to the cancer research orgs.

How Dare it Be August?

Summer wanes.

How dare it be August?

To tell the truth, I'm not sure I've made the most of it.

I know compared to some, I've done a lot. But compared to others I'm a sloth, and anyway, the only thing that matters is if it feels enough to me.

It doesn't.

I know in my heart what I've done and haven't done.

I've swum less.

I've written less.

I've read less.

I've been less.

I shouldn't be wasting hours and days.

Partly, it's the usual distractions. facebook and twitter, I mean YOU!

And, partly, I've been lazy.

And, partly, things hurt more than they used to. *shakes fists at hip and lower back*

This photo pains me, as much as fills me
. . . why must everything feel symbolic?

But it's August.

And I need to get on the ball.

I'm swimming Swim Across American's 5K on August 11th to help raise money for cancer research and am going to attempt a 5-mile swim with the West Neck Pod on August 25th.  So there's that.

My Frankie revisions are due September 1st and I'm still working on them. I have the right to turn in my next "option" manuscript four months after that. I should have already been on that project instead. Plus, I have a wonderful independent publisher interested in my women's fiction piece Swim Back to Me, which needs to be rewritten.

I long to have my women's fiction published.

And, yet, I've wasted time.

I'm wasting time.

I squandered away too much of July, and I'm feeling it.

So, tomorrow is August.

And, I plan to milk it for all it's worth.

Let's see what I can get done.

- gae